Government Care-Givers SUCK!

Honestly! I tell you - you don't want to leave your near and dear with them bitches...

My aunt who suddenly took sick was rushed to the Homagama Hospital and then transferred to the Colombo General Hospital. The staff at the Homagama Hospital didn't allow anyone to go with her, and asked us to come back the General Hospital at 6am; that's during visiting hours. So we went, and after much difficulty found the ward she was in, only to discover that the saline has finished hours before and that since she was unconscious, the needle stuck in her hand had moved around so much, that there was blood down the front of her blouse. So I went to inquire from the nurse as to what condition my aunt was in and whether she could maybe please put in a new saline bottle or help clean up my aunt. But man! She just totally went off at me, told me that it wasn't really my problem, and they she couldn't really be changing the saline over and over again; that she had done her job as far as she was concerned; that there was nothing she was going to do beyond that; if the patient was having difficulty breathing - too bad, etc. And while being extremely pissed off, I was quite alarmed. I'd never met a nurse like that. She didn't give two shits about the patients, she sounded like she hated what she was doing, she completely managed to successfully scream at my mother and everyone there for simply asking what condition my aunt was in.

If the General Hospital didn't have all the equipment and facilities, we would've transferred my aunt a long time ago...but as this point, we have no choice. They still don't know what is wrong with my aunt, and while they perform tests, she has to wait.

What are nurses for? Aren't they supposed to be helping and caring for the sick? All the nurses and even some of the doctors just had such airs it was sickening. It certainly doesn't feel right, when you have to go and beg the doctor on call to come look at the patient...

What gives?

Smaller by 3-5 cm

So now we all know one very good reason why India has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation.

Tis because them Indian men are a tad bit smaller than regular international sizes, owing to condoms simply falling off during the 'process'.

Ha ha ha!

The research reveals that close to 60% of the Indian male population fall short of the international standards by 3-5cms...

'Great Tits'

Any wild guesses from where this was taken? :)

"The research focused on great tits in ten major European cities, including London, Paris, Amsterdam and Prague, and compared them to forest-dwellers."

Mondays SUCK!

You wake up late, only to find out that your neighbour who ALWAYS drops you off at work - for some god forsaken reason cannot drop you at work today! Your parents also refuse, your friend at work doesn't answer her phone and the bloody tuk-tuk buggers are on an overcharge high. So one just has to give in, as its just bloody awful standing on the road and wagging ones hand at every tuktuk passing by. Then when you finally get to work, the atmosphere isn't great, and you wonder if you've made the right choice with the job. But still...life does go on...

the NON-fantastic 5

1. People who matter the most to you are always the ones who end up disappointing you. That's just the worst thing ever. Couldn't it be someone you detest, because then you could just brush it away and nonchalantly say 'NEXT'!
2. When you expect people to be considerate towards your feelings, they assume that you've requested they change themselves in order to do so. Aargh! I mean, what gives?
3. When travelling in a tuk-tuk and you go into those goddamn potholes or over those bloody humps meant to actually reduce speed. Pat thy poor bottom. Bump! Bump!
4. Poor service at restaurants that keep you waiting until your hunger goes for a walk. This is extremely irritating when one is famished and in desperate need of food.
5. Those annoying people at work who assume they are the centre of the universe. That just calls for a sword and a quick swish, swish! [gurgle]

Run away...

I'm in a state of turmoil. Millions of things keep churning my mind. I desperately want to write it down and get it out, but something holds me back. I'm not brave enough sometimes to bare all. Writing it down in black and white would just mean that it's true, don't think I'm ready for that.

A vacation for the soul is high on the 'want' list, but how? What do you do? I have an unending and every-growing list of TO-DOs. Somehow, weirdly enough, I like the pressure. It makes me want to do more, achieve more. But sometimes, I just want to run away from it all. Is that so bad? Escapism is such a temptation, but as always, there is no escape.

Handbook for bloggers and cyber-dissidents

[Image borrowed from www.rsf.org]

Here's an interesting resource for us bloggers, published by Reporters Without Borders. Available here for free download.

Wag thy tail at the Americans or get bombed!

So, the US ain't getting its own way - so it resorts to low down, 100 million metres undergound-like threats.

Bush issues an ultimatum; but he is so bloody scrawnily unnerved that he gets little Richie to go tell them Pakis that they just HAVE to join the fight against Al Qaeda or the big, bad US boys will bomb them poor defenseless Pakis outta existence! How about that? Shoot! Who died and made them lord of the world? It's interesting that the US sees themselves as Pakistan's governing country - I mean who the hell do they think they are to drive Pakistan into a corner and twist them arms of them Pakis. And the equally spineless Musharraf says, ya, ok - I have to do this - in the best interest of my country. Hell! Whaddya expect him to do - Let the bloody americans bomb them???

One day - someday - the entire world is going to be fighting the war of the millemium - and it'll be against them Americans!

I want to live to see the war.
I want to be there - I want to watch it!
Maybe I'll fight in it!
But I want to be reading the news that night and I want to be the news anchor saying it!
HA!

Sod off you bloody Americans! BAH!

Shadows

This was inspired by a shot of Tony Blair in some guy's shadow. Twas an awesomely cool picture. Can't seem to track it down. Dammit!

Spoonerisms...

So, now I’m excessively hungry and keep wishing someone had stocked kitchen in my chicken. That way, I could’ve cooked some and maybe topped it with some chrilled greese. YUM! Not great in the ‘fat’ department, but hey cheggars can’t be boos[z]ers. [ha ha ha! i LOVE that!]
So now, I’ve gotta wait for my fellow employees’ punger hangs to strike; that’s the only thing that makes em move those lazy asses off their chairs.
I’d love to go on, but cuty dalls! Ta!
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....such are the tips of ze slung!

just 200

And I never would've guessed!

Hi - A wee message from FlickrHQ:You have more than 200 photos in your photostream and you have a free account. That is excellent news, but, it does mean that you've hit one of the limits of your free account: only your most recent 200 photos will be displayed. May we draw your attention to the amazing benefits of a Flickr Pro account, and gently encourage you to upgrade your account?

So thanks to that...there will be no more additions on my flickr account!

Will post my pictures here - instead! HMPF!

Look who flew into my office last night...

Amazingly stupidly compromising

It's amazing what lengths we go to - especially when we love doing something....however, it's extremely disappointing when you realize that you aren't appreciated...and then you feel like shit. You feel like an idiot, and then you wonder why you had to put all of your effort into something like that and end up feeling totally shitty like this.

The worst part - you still try to sort it out...you're still looking for a solution because you don't want to let go...you'd rather find the so-called middle ground than lose it forever. You get soppy. Dont want to think of saying NO, and end up losing it.

Amazing! Idiotic!

Moments

Well, not everyone gets people like me or the smart little penguin. However, tis always exactly my complaint. Too bad! Complain away I will.
Hate the fact that...
...I've chosen to leave my friends here at the ORG.
...a certain acquaintance thinks bossing me and ordering me around could actually work! Like hell yeah, it could! :P
...I am sick and have to sniffle and snuffle and sneeze me way through my life at the moment.
...I can't play with the beeeeeeeeeeyooooooooootiful babies today because I'm terrified of making them sniffle/snuffle, etc.
...I just had one of those arguments I hate having and kept wishing I could just run away from it at every mili-second.
...I am so fucking sensitive...and keep letting my emotions get in the way of decisions/important things.
...I'm still treated by maternal and paternal authorities like I'm 5 years old.
...I yearn to do as I please, but can never do that.
...I actually want another life!
...I'm actually being honest with myself here!

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

All hail the Buffalo!

• Public screenings of the Da Vinci code have been banned.
• SO WHAT eh? There is always the dvd... [snigger, snigger]
• Does it take a book or a movie to crack one's religious faith?
• How come most of Asia is screening it...even India is.
• "We don't easily get bothered with a book or a movie, because for sure our faith is much, much deeper than that, and we realize if we really follow the teachings of Christ, we should be relaxed." - Pedro Quitorio - Spokesperson, Catholic Bishop's Conference of the Philippines
• "It matters greatly to us as it adversely affects the most sacred beliefs of our people when it levels the charge that the Catholic Church is essentially a vast network founded on maintaining the lie of Jesus' Divinity." - Catholic Bishops Conference, Sri Lanka
• Whatever happened to creating a climate of freedom for artistic creativity?

Helplessness,
That's what I felt this morning,
when you woke me.
Eyes shut, listening to you
Crying, complaining, hurt, worried, scared.
It's beyond my reach.
I ache to take a swish of that wand,
Make the pain go away,Bring a smile to your face.
Useless - that's what I am.

Bored, uninterested, world-weary...

Started off writing a post about peace, people's sad-ass attitudes to the entire 'situation in the country' and email forwards; as I was completely irked by an email I received about the MoD putting up a website to counter TamilNet - and then just thought it useless and deleted it.

I'm bored. I want something brand and shiningly new to do. I want something interesting to do, anything. I want to do an adventurous, selfish and supersedingly fun 'I'm-travelling-the-world-having-a-ball' kind of thing. Ideas?

See what I found.

Donkeys [apparently] make better companions than housewives

"...the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, (but), you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master." - So reads an excerpt in a text book meant for 14 year olds in India. More here.

This textbook, approved by the state of Rajasthan even goes on to imply that donkeys are a shade better than housewives - and what was the state's reply to this?
"The comparison was made in good humour" - A.R. Khan, Official, State Education

Interestingly, back in the day - certain modules took top spot in the education of the girl child. The Education of a Woman included gardening, tailoring, housekeeping, reading, writing, spinning, weaving, etc.

New research however has a completely different story to relate, as cited by John Tierney. He talks of how women were the most happy with the following type of husbands:

1. Affectionate and understanding husbands

2. Primary breadwinner husbands

3. Tidy husbands

Here's a shocking one: "Women today expect more help around the home and more emotional engagement from their husbands," Wilcox says. "But they still want their husbands to be providers who give them financial security and freedom."

This is further elaborated here; that talks of the unfulfilled husband who performs better at work, provided his wife spends more time at home – caring and sharing and attending to her housewifely chores. Goes to show that men do depend heavily on women, so much so that, “Married men earn more than single men, but only if their wife stays at home - and does all the chores.” [snort]

I wonder how a donkey would affect the efficiency and ability of her husband to generate more money. Hmmm...

A Refreshing Sunday Read

Twas a relaxed hot sunday afternoon. Perfect for hiding indoors and for curling up with a book. I finally get round to reading the lot of 'sri-lankan' books I bought during Christmas.

Sam's Story by Elmo Jaywardene is a first person narrative. He is put across as a simpleton and one who has no bearing of the world we live in. Everything is new to him and foreign. I could even snidely say that his ignorance was largely annoying and his naivety even more so. Unlike this review, I found it tremendously difficult to cope with his state of mind - something I'd probably tie down with my impatience. In a nutshell I suppose, one could say that Jayawardene does manage to capture a number of issues - that of the war, poverty, etc. However, its something about the language - that of a common fool that somehow annoys me. This probably does not justify my reasons for not liking it, nor does it make me label this book as 'a bad piece of writing'. The storyline is good, the subject matter as well. Tis just the language...I mustn't forget to mention that this won the Gratien Prize in 2001.

On the other hand, Sujatha Mallika's story in the 2003 Gratien prizewinning author - Nihal De Silva's The Giniralla Conspiracy [picture courtesy of Vijitha Yapa] catches one completely off guard. The story deals with a lot of prevalent issues in our country. For instance, ragging at state universities is just the top layer, while there are more deeper and darker issues to be dealt with. All issues that bring frighteningly true-to-life images or even stir up wild-nightmarish imaginations. It talks of the political elements that exist in our state universities and how these are just the feeding grounds of its leaders who have visions of purging the country of its impurities [the rich] and thus helping the poor stand out and obtain what is rightly theirs. The storyline weaves around Sujatha's 5 journals that chronicle her life from the time she enters university, gets brutally ragged, believes in the 'JSP', joins them, discovers the 'Giniralla Conspiracy', tries to uncover it and so on and so forth.

This isn't one of those books you could easily put down. Heck, I read it in one go. Interestingly, De Silva incorporates quite a bit of Sinhalese dialogue, but always with a translation - it somehow adds to the...er...shall we say ambience? His writing and choice of subject engages such realism and timeliness, that it makes one stop to wonder, if Colombo was ever under such a threat, or if we still are? Will we ever have to undergo the likes of the Pol Pot regime or did we escape it? I honestly wouldn't put it past the JVP to have such murderous and radical communist reforms on the boards for Sri Lanka.

Either ways, de Silva somehow eerily enough brings the story to a more personal level, making one almost draw parallels with what we see going on in today's goverment. Sigh!

I must say - Sunday was one of those refreshingly lazy days...I like!

I said 'YES'

He took me in his arms, told me he loved me, whipped out the prettiest ring ever and asked me if I'd complete his life!

Butterfly...

I just don't know anymore

So...suddenly out of the blue I'm utterly and totally confused. Sometimes its just indescribable the way things just happen and one finds oneself totally and utterly lost for words...trying to make sense out of the entire situation is just completely useless...do I do anything about it? No. It ain't my baby...but it still concerns me to the greatest of deals, worries me terribly...

Fathoming the situation right now is just beyond me reach. It's not as horrible as it sounds, it's just that sometimes one never expects things to happen within one's own sphere, and when it does, it is totally and freakily so, unsettling.

If this doesn't make sense, which it probably won't, worry not...I'm just using this as a vent - it be one of those issues you'd rather not discuss with anyone and everyone.

On the other hand, I went to one of the prettiest and awe-inspiring Geoffrey Bawa houses yesterday...[swoon!] I'd give anything to live in a house like that...will be posting pictures on flickr later on...So my evenining was coupled with the greatest of houses, friends and heaps and oodles of sushi - I'm feeling entirely in a good mood tinged with confusion. Did I mention how much I love sushi? YUMMMMMMMMMY!

Going now - heaps of things to do... :)

Six Utterly Absurd Things I Didn't Know

• Dmitri Trofimovich Shepilov, Soviet politician and foreign minister denounced jazz and rock music at the Congress, warning against "wild cave-man orgies" and the "explosion of basic instincts and sexual urges".
• Bill the Goat is the mascot of the United States Naval Academy and first appeared at a Navy football game in 1893.
• The Victorian era parlour game of Snap-dragon involved children plucking raisins out of burning brandy and eating them.
• There have been many attempts to deliver mail by rocket, but none have met with much success.
• Umchwasho is a traditional chastity rite in Swaziland that restricts the sexual relations of unmarried women.
• Alcohol advertising is heavily restricted in some countries to avoid associating the drinking of alcoholic beverages with sexual success and physical attractiveness.

OH! That horrid, horrid feeling :(

I keep feeling this deep sense of regret which seems to pull me down further with each step I take...I know what the root cause of it is, however, also knowing very well that there is nothing I could have done about it. But still, that feeling of being denied an entire part of my life eats away at my soul, my very being. It somehow doesn't seem all that fair, to have lost that chunk of my world. Even more so, because I know I fought for it; hard. But lost, very badly. I'm not used to losing. Actually, I don't think I'm a bad loser. Somehow, this loss isn't something I can deal with. Maybe in a few months from now - things will change and I will walk away from this a bigger winner than ever...however, I have a horrid feeling I will always have this nagging feeling, of being denied, being stifled, being controlled - leading to a feeling of hatred I wish I never feel for anyone ever again! I feel horrible!

Manee

She is one of bestest friends...hates it when her picture is being taken, unfortunately for her - I simply LOVE it...this is one of those rare moments of when I've managed to catch her offguard!

One of the kids I teach

Of projects, Kottu and shopping...

So, I finished my FYP [Final Year Project], handed it in. Yes, there is a slight, vague sense of relief, probably owing to the fact that I have a presentation on the project in a couple of weeks time. It's true that I never, ever want to do a research project again, especially NOT using SPSS. URGH! Gives me shudders even when I think about it...however, I excepted to feel more relieved, but disappointingly enough I don't feel the feeling I wanted to feel.

On another note, I just noticed that I - the SweetIdiot is now on the Kottu blogroll...wow! When did that happen? :)

Now, I'm bored. Have a craving to go shopping...you know the kind where you just buy heaps and heaps of stuff and feel immensely satisfied when you go home and dump everything on your bed and heave that wonderfully satisfied sigh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Limbo-ish

Isn't it simply unnerving when you know you have heaps of work to do, choices to make, blah blah blah...but simply do not feel like doing it...it's almost like being caught in between - a kind of unsettlingly limbo-ish feeling.

I often feel like that about most things.

Baby Stuff

I'm a baby...at most things. I'm stubborn. Always want my own way. Will probably never, ever given in...I never stop to think before I act. It's always a case of suddenly realizing the end result...and that too, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay after the consequences have taken place.

I miss being a child. I never had so many decisions to make. At the most, I needed to decide between a car and a barbie doll [always chose the car - or sadistically chose the barbie doll and pulled her stupid little blonde head off!] Things were never this complicating. Sometimes, it's too much, too many, argh! Why me?

I hurt people without realizing it. I say things expecting too much out of people. I'm too much of a princess and expect everybody to fall in line with my life. It's tough, like this. I hate having responsibilities, obligations, things to remember, stuff I just HAVE to do, people depending on me [CWB this don't include you]

If only I could just close my eyes, make that wish and if only it would come true.

Islam = Peace

Islam means 'submission' and derives from a word meaning 'peace'. Somehow, most muslims around the world seem to have forgotten this amongst other basic Islam teachings and the situation has spiralled ridiculously out of control.

I proclaim no great knowledge in Islam - however, through the teachings I've received - I think I can confidently say that I know my right from wrong.

These quotations point out some important aspects of Islam - facts that people nowadays choose to ignore because for most - it is just easier to succumb to what they THINK is right, rather than actually follow what IS right.

'Powerful is not he who knocks the other down, indeed powerful is he who controls himself in a fit of anger.' - Prophet Muhammed (SAW)

The Quran says: God forbids you not, with regards to those who fight you not for [your] faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them; for God loveth those who are just. (Quran, 60.8)

On the other hand, Islam permits fighting in self-defense, in defense of religion, or on the part of those who have been expelled forcibly from their homes. Howver, it does lay down strict rules of combat which include prohibitions against harming civilians and against destroying crops, trees and livestock. In this light, the Quran says:
'Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not transgress limits. God does not love transgressors.' (2.190)

War therefore, is actually the last resort, and even then is subject to rigorous conditions laid down by Islamic law. Jihad means 'struggle' and takes on two meanings. The other defines the inner struggle that we all go through; against egotistic desires, for the sake of attaining inner peace.

What we see happening today is actually one of the signs of Qiyamah [The Last Day].

Islam, though some see it as a brutal and sometimes incomprehensible religion, is really quite simple. It is a great way of life - IF interpreted correctly. The damage starts only when people take matters into their own hands and make adjustments and begin to follow their own interpretations in the name of Islam.

Anyways, it really is not my place to judge...I'm just here...playing my little part in the world...

JERK! JERK! JERK!

Why do people think we need machines telling us what to do, how to dress and the latest: ta daa! a 'jerk-o-meter'!

I personally WANT to be able to be a jerk when I feel like it, scream on the phone WHEN I want to and do as I please and most importantly speak in any way I FEEL like - without some JERK of a machine telling me - "Don't be a jerk!," "Be a little nicer now," or "Wow, you're a smooth talker" - like YA RIGHT!

WTF?

ARGH! Humans! [rolls eyes]

I would…If I could,
Move to another space,
Another time,
Where every inkling of my life
Would be different.

My once sturdy walls of resistance
Have crumbled away,
Letting the poison
Come seeping in.
Invisible. Powerful. Claustrophobic.

Unwelcome, unfriendly thoughts
Swirl around, venemously,
Mocking at me. Sneeringly.

What do you do?
When coping becomes
Exruciatingly difficult.
When all one can think of
Is a way out. Forever.

How does one go by it?
Abracadabra? A swish of a wand?
Password? PIN number?

Sigh! If only things were that easy…

GASP!

I need air...[gasp]...to breathe...[choke]...I'm being stifled...[splutter]...beyond my control...lost part of me childhood. Losing out on life. Am not given a choice. It's scary. Freaks me out. Think I need to live my life again. Maybe not. I've missed out on so much. I feel like I have. I want it back. NOW!

People screaming, forbidding. They're are still screaming...it's too much to handle...I need out. I've always needed out. I'm complaining again. Whining again. That's what you'll say, and you and yes [sigh]...you too!

The loss...it's created a dark and unearthly void. Pain, suffering, anguish.

I'm not complaining...I'm not whining either...it's only for me to understand.