a bad start to a bad week...
just what i need on a stupid monday morning...
number one i just cannot work with incompetent people who screw up my show...and that is precisely what happened today...plus the bloody hierarchy breathing down my neck who insist that each and every story has to be read out to scores of them...tell me! how on earth am i supposed to that...singlehandedly?
do they understand? NO! it seems to be beyond their comprehension that i am in fact HUMAN!
want to just crawl up in a corner and cry....think i sound a bit pathetic now...damn SHIT! hate feeling like this...
all my defenses are down! feel yucky! shitty! beginning to doubt my capabilities!
i need OUT!
Monday, November 29, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
SO much for caring!
Ever looked out for people? Cared about what would happen to them? EVER ASKED SOMEONE TO STOP SOMETHING BECAUSE IT WOULD HARM THEM AND THEN HAVE THEM GET PISSED OFF WITH YOU FOR THAT?
This is bloody absurd…I’m SO pissed! I mean, I want to literally scream! ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean I don’t get it…why the hell can’t you give up the one thing someone asks for? What’s the problem? So many bloody excuses… I have cravings…I need it…I need time…I can’t just do it out of the blue…blah, blah, blah
I mean, if you ever set your mind to it…I’m sure there would be no problem at all…it’s just a matter of willpower. That’s all! But no! When it comes to this fucking thing…all the bloody defences drop and he is putty in its hands!
Whatever happened to I will do whatever I can to make you happy?
Plus…its not like I ask for zillions of things every fucking day! I don’t! I’m probably the last person who does so…and I ask for ONE thing…just ONE…and even that can’t be done…
Unbelievable!
This is bloody absurd…I’m SO pissed! I mean, I want to literally scream! ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean I don’t get it…why the hell can’t you give up the one thing someone asks for? What’s the problem? So many bloody excuses… I have cravings…I need it…I need time…I can’t just do it out of the blue…blah, blah, blah
I mean, if you ever set your mind to it…I’m sure there would be no problem at all…it’s just a matter of willpower. That’s all! But no! When it comes to this fucking thing…all the bloody defences drop and he is putty in its hands!
Whatever happened to I will do whatever I can to make you happy?
Plus…its not like I ask for zillions of things every fucking day! I don’t! I’m probably the last person who does so…and I ask for ONE thing…just ONE…and even that can’t be done…
Unbelievable!
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
On Sperm Competition...
OK! get this people...there now exists a "biologial sperm chastity belt"...
apparently this is nature's way of fighting back in response to the promiscuity of females... (ya right) well WE all know who is guilty of that :)
BOO BOO!
and this article im reading this morning gets even more interesting as it goes:
i mean...how dare they liken us gorgeous creatures to chimps and gorillas...im sure it was one of the opposite sex that wrote the article...knowing very well that he is fact an APE!
HMPH!
apparently this is nature's way of fighting back in response to the promiscuity of females... (ya right) well WE all know who is guilty of that :)
BOO BOO!
and this article im reading this morning gets even more interesting as it goes:
"Humans were midway between, suggesting that while women are nothing like as promiscuous as chimps, neither are they as faithful as gorillas."
OK!...i protest!...think im gonna go sue the bloody news agency that published this...
OK!...i protest!...think im gonna go sue the bloody news agency that published this...
i mean...how dare they liken us gorgeous creatures to chimps and gorillas...im sure it was one of the opposite sex that wrote the article...knowing very well that he is fact an APE!
HMPH!
Monday, November 08, 2004
alright! starting to feel trapped again!...this is infuriating, upsetting, totally
unsettling, i just wish i didnt have to live under such constraints!i mean, i am at the ripe old age of 21 where i do have my rights! ive protested with this phrase many a time to have it just thrown back in my face by a certain maternal authority i detest at the moment.
i wish i could get out of this whole situation...i mean when you've had to live with this
whole bloody thing throughout my whole life...there comes a point when u cant just take
anymore shit! and i just know that ive come to that point where i just will not waste
anymore of my strength...but something in me will not give in either...its a do-or-die
situation!
and then...i discover that i've been shown the key to this barred door...its amazing how
things happen...but its just that im one of those who have not been gifted with that oh so virtuous gift of patience!...
so its a sorry state of affairs back at home base when all hell breaks loose...in a trying times...its a case of bitten lips and clenched knuckles till they turn absolutely white...because it takes everything i've got to hold back without lashing out ....it hurts to think that someone who's known you all their life doesnt actually know you at all... cannot even comprehend your simplest moves or emotions, let alone likes and dislikes...how is that even possible???? (a thought that very very frequently runs through my head)and the worst part is that i know how bad it can get...i know how it will be...
but still every time i get shit from HER...it upsets me to great degrees...and that bugs me to death!i just wish i could close my eyes and wish her away...because at this very moment in
time...it is she that stands in the way of my happines...the rest of my life...and i have decided!...i have decided that i will NOT let her rule my life anymore...she has had her fair share...she has ruled my life all these 21 years...and this time...its a HUGE decision im making...and im extremely googleplex positive that this is what i want for the rest of my life...i want him to share the rest of my life with me...and i am not going to let her get in the way of that!
THAT'S FINAL!
anyways........lets talk about something more intriguing and much more interesting....its a funny though awesomely satisfying feeling... :)
i belong to someone wonderful...he makes me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY...i have found my kindred spirit and he loves me as much as i love him [actually i think i love him more than he loves me ;) ]
but it feels official now after the last weeks happenings...and now all i can think of when
i see myself or him is: {ooh! ooh! ooh! im gonna be married} im thrilled to bits that ive found my soul mate, my ideal match...call it whatever you may...he is MINE and i intend to keep him for the rest of my life!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................... (an awesomely satisfied sigh...packed with happiness and love and mirth and heaps of things that i cant even begin to describe because words would not even begin to do justice to them)
unsettling, i just wish i didnt have to live under such constraints!i mean, i am at the ripe old age of 21 where i do have my rights! ive protested with this phrase many a time to have it just thrown back in my face by a certain maternal authority i detest at the moment.
i wish i could get out of this whole situation...i mean when you've had to live with this
whole bloody thing throughout my whole life...there comes a point when u cant just take
anymore shit! and i just know that ive come to that point where i just will not waste
anymore of my strength...but something in me will not give in either...its a do-or-die
situation!
and then...i discover that i've been shown the key to this barred door...its amazing how
things happen...but its just that im one of those who have not been gifted with that oh so virtuous gift of patience!...
so its a sorry state of affairs back at home base when all hell breaks loose...in a trying times...its a case of bitten lips and clenched knuckles till they turn absolutely white...because it takes everything i've got to hold back without lashing out ....it hurts to think that someone who's known you all their life doesnt actually know you at all... cannot even comprehend your simplest moves or emotions, let alone likes and dislikes...how is that even possible???? (a thought that very very frequently runs through my head)and the worst part is that i know how bad it can get...i know how it will be...
but still every time i get shit from HER...it upsets me to great degrees...and that bugs me to death!i just wish i could close my eyes and wish her away...because at this very moment in
time...it is she that stands in the way of my happines...the rest of my life...and i have decided!...i have decided that i will NOT let her rule my life anymore...she has had her fair share...she has ruled my life all these 21 years...and this time...its a HUGE decision im making...and im extremely googleplex positive that this is what i want for the rest of my life...i want him to share the rest of my life with me...and i am not going to let her get in the way of that!
THAT'S FINAL!
anyways........lets talk about something more intriguing and much more interesting....its a funny though awesomely satisfying feeling... :)
i belong to someone wonderful...he makes me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY...i have found my kindred spirit and he loves me as much as i love him [actually i think i love him more than he loves me ;) ]
but it feels official now after the last weeks happenings...and now all i can think of when
i see myself or him is: {ooh! ooh! ooh! im gonna be married} im thrilled to bits that ive found my soul mate, my ideal match...call it whatever you may...he is MINE and i intend to keep him for the rest of my life!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..................... (an awesomely satisfied sigh...packed with happiness and love and mirth and heaps of things that i cant even begin to describe because words would not even begin to do justice to them)
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
THAT'S IT!
alright! thats it! im sick and tired having to deal with incompetent people and am so bloody sick of having to shoulder the entire responsibilty of this whole bloody thing i have to day every bloody stupid morning...
its absurd...i have to slave like a bloody dog everyday in the morning...not a bloody soul is of any help...the little help i get just goes and mucks everything up in style...and then what really gets me pissed off is when bloody idiots come and use my computer...i mean MY computer and mess up all the stuff i have on it and refuse to even get up coz they are already in the middle of checking something out...do i care? NO!
its not like MY computer is only bloody computer in this office...!
JEEZ!
and added to that...the gods are against me...the bloody net is trying to outdo the slowest snail in the world...as a resuls i have a stationery state on a webpage i am trying to refresh coz my superiors tell me that it is crucial that i carry the latest in the US presidential elections...
who the bloody hell cares who gets elected over there...whoever it is...its a bloody loser...and whatever they have planned our country is still highly screwed!
URGH!
its absurd...i have to slave like a bloody dog everyday in the morning...not a bloody soul is of any help...the little help i get just goes and mucks everything up in style...and then what really gets me pissed off is when bloody idiots come and use my computer...i mean MY computer and mess up all the stuff i have on it and refuse to even get up coz they are already in the middle of checking something out...do i care? NO!
its not like MY computer is only bloody computer in this office...!
JEEZ!
and added to that...the gods are against me...the bloody net is trying to outdo the slowest snail in the world...as a resuls i have a stationery state on a webpage i am trying to refresh coz my superiors tell me that it is crucial that i carry the latest in the US presidential elections...
who the bloody hell cares who gets elected over there...whoever it is...its a bloody loser...and whatever they have planned our country is still highly screwed!
URGH!
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