JERK! JERK! JERK!

Why do people think we need machines telling us what to do, how to dress and the latest: ta daa! a 'jerk-o-meter'!

I personally WANT to be able to be a jerk when I feel like it, scream on the phone WHEN I want to and do as I please and most importantly speak in any way I FEEL like - without some JERK of a machine telling me - "Don't be a jerk!," "Be a little nicer now," or "Wow, you're a smooth talker" - like YA RIGHT!

WTF?

ARGH! Humans! [rolls eyes]

I would…If I could,
Move to another space,
Another time,
Where every inkling of my life
Would be different.

My once sturdy walls of resistance
Have crumbled away,
Letting the poison
Come seeping in.
Invisible. Powerful. Claustrophobic.

Unwelcome, unfriendly thoughts
Swirl around, venemously,
Mocking at me. Sneeringly.

What do you do?
When coping becomes
Exruciatingly difficult.
When all one can think of
Is a way out. Forever.

How does one go by it?
Abracadabra? A swish of a wand?
Password? PIN number?

Sigh! If only things were that easy…

GASP!

I need air...[gasp]...to breathe...[choke]...I'm being stifled...[splutter]...beyond my control...lost part of me childhood. Losing out on life. Am not given a choice. It's scary. Freaks me out. Think I need to live my life again. Maybe not. I've missed out on so much. I feel like I have. I want it back. NOW!

People screaming, forbidding. They're are still screaming...it's too much to handle...I need out. I've always needed out. I'm complaining again. Whining again. That's what you'll say, and you and yes [sigh]...you too!

The loss...it's created a dark and unearthly void. Pain, suffering, anguish.

I'm not complaining...I'm not whining either...it's only for me to understand.