All hail the Buffalo!

• Public screenings of the Da Vinci code have been banned.
• SO WHAT eh? There is always the dvd... [snigger, snigger]
• Does it take a book or a movie to crack one's religious faith?
• How come most of Asia is screening it...even India is.
• "We don't easily get bothered with a book or a movie, because for sure our faith is much, much deeper than that, and we realize if we really follow the teachings of Christ, we should be relaxed." - Pedro Quitorio - Spokesperson, Catholic Bishop's Conference of the Philippines
• "It matters greatly to us as it adversely affects the most sacred beliefs of our people when it levels the charge that the Catholic Church is essentially a vast network founded on maintaining the lie of Jesus' Divinity." - Catholic Bishops Conference, Sri Lanka
• Whatever happened to creating a climate of freedom for artistic creativity?

Helplessness,
That's what I felt this morning,
when you woke me.
Eyes shut, listening to you
Crying, complaining, hurt, worried, scared.
It's beyond my reach.
I ache to take a swish of that wand,
Make the pain go away,Bring a smile to your face.
Useless - that's what I am.

Bored, uninterested, world-weary...

Started off writing a post about peace, people's sad-ass attitudes to the entire 'situation in the country' and email forwards; as I was completely irked by an email I received about the MoD putting up a website to counter TamilNet - and then just thought it useless and deleted it.

I'm bored. I want something brand and shiningly new to do. I want something interesting to do, anything. I want to do an adventurous, selfish and supersedingly fun 'I'm-travelling-the-world-having-a-ball' kind of thing. Ideas?

See what I found.

Donkeys [apparently] make better companions than housewives

"...the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, (but), you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master." - So reads an excerpt in a text book meant for 14 year olds in India. More here.

This textbook, approved by the state of Rajasthan even goes on to imply that donkeys are a shade better than housewives - and what was the state's reply to this?
"The comparison was made in good humour" - A.R. Khan, Official, State Education

Interestingly, back in the day - certain modules took top spot in the education of the girl child. The Education of a Woman included gardening, tailoring, housekeeping, reading, writing, spinning, weaving, etc.

New research however has a completely different story to relate, as cited by John Tierney. He talks of how women were the most happy with the following type of husbands:

1. Affectionate and understanding husbands

2. Primary breadwinner husbands

3. Tidy husbands

Here's a shocking one: "Women today expect more help around the home and more emotional engagement from their husbands," Wilcox says. "But they still want their husbands to be providers who give them financial security and freedom."

This is further elaborated here; that talks of the unfulfilled husband who performs better at work, provided his wife spends more time at home – caring and sharing and attending to her housewifely chores. Goes to show that men do depend heavily on women, so much so that, “Married men earn more than single men, but only if their wife stays at home - and does all the chores.” [snort]

I wonder how a donkey would affect the efficiency and ability of her husband to generate more money. Hmmm...

A Refreshing Sunday Read

Twas a relaxed hot sunday afternoon. Perfect for hiding indoors and for curling up with a book. I finally get round to reading the lot of 'sri-lankan' books I bought during Christmas.

Sam's Story by Elmo Jaywardene is a first person narrative. He is put across as a simpleton and one who has no bearing of the world we live in. Everything is new to him and foreign. I could even snidely say that his ignorance was largely annoying and his naivety even more so. Unlike this review, I found it tremendously difficult to cope with his state of mind - something I'd probably tie down with my impatience. In a nutshell I suppose, one could say that Jayawardene does manage to capture a number of issues - that of the war, poverty, etc. However, its something about the language - that of a common fool that somehow annoys me. This probably does not justify my reasons for not liking it, nor does it make me label this book as 'a bad piece of writing'. The storyline is good, the subject matter as well. Tis just the language...I mustn't forget to mention that this won the Gratien Prize in 2001.

On the other hand, Sujatha Mallika's story in the 2003 Gratien prizewinning author - Nihal De Silva's The Giniralla Conspiracy [picture courtesy of Vijitha Yapa] catches one completely off guard. The story deals with a lot of prevalent issues in our country. For instance, ragging at state universities is just the top layer, while there are more deeper and darker issues to be dealt with. All issues that bring frighteningly true-to-life images or even stir up wild-nightmarish imaginations. It talks of the political elements that exist in our state universities and how these are just the feeding grounds of its leaders who have visions of purging the country of its impurities [the rich] and thus helping the poor stand out and obtain what is rightly theirs. The storyline weaves around Sujatha's 5 journals that chronicle her life from the time she enters university, gets brutally ragged, believes in the 'JSP', joins them, discovers the 'Giniralla Conspiracy', tries to uncover it and so on and so forth.

This isn't one of those books you could easily put down. Heck, I read it in one go. Interestingly, De Silva incorporates quite a bit of Sinhalese dialogue, but always with a translation - it somehow adds to the...er...shall we say ambience? His writing and choice of subject engages such realism and timeliness, that it makes one stop to wonder, if Colombo was ever under such a threat, or if we still are? Will we ever have to undergo the likes of the Pol Pot regime or did we escape it? I honestly wouldn't put it past the JVP to have such murderous and radical communist reforms on the boards for Sri Lanka.

Either ways, de Silva somehow eerily enough brings the story to a more personal level, making one almost draw parallels with what we see going on in today's goverment. Sigh!

I must say - Sunday was one of those refreshingly lazy days...I like!

I said 'YES'

He took me in his arms, told me he loved me, whipped out the prettiest ring ever and asked me if I'd complete his life!

Butterfly...

I just don't know anymore

So...suddenly out of the blue I'm utterly and totally confused. Sometimes its just indescribable the way things just happen and one finds oneself totally and utterly lost for words...trying to make sense out of the entire situation is just completely useless...do I do anything about it? No. It ain't my baby...but it still concerns me to the greatest of deals, worries me terribly...

Fathoming the situation right now is just beyond me reach. It's not as horrible as it sounds, it's just that sometimes one never expects things to happen within one's own sphere, and when it does, it is totally and freakily so, unsettling.

If this doesn't make sense, which it probably won't, worry not...I'm just using this as a vent - it be one of those issues you'd rather not discuss with anyone and everyone.

On the other hand, I went to one of the prettiest and awe-inspiring Geoffrey Bawa houses yesterday...[swoon!] I'd give anything to live in a house like that...will be posting pictures on flickr later on...So my evenining was coupled with the greatest of houses, friends and heaps and oodles of sushi - I'm feeling entirely in a good mood tinged with confusion. Did I mention how much I love sushi? YUMMMMMMMMMY!

Going now - heaps of things to do... :)

Six Utterly Absurd Things I Didn't Know

• Dmitri Trofimovich Shepilov, Soviet politician and foreign minister denounced jazz and rock music at the Congress, warning against "wild cave-man orgies" and the "explosion of basic instincts and sexual urges".
• Bill the Goat is the mascot of the United States Naval Academy and first appeared at a Navy football game in 1893.
• The Victorian era parlour game of Snap-dragon involved children plucking raisins out of burning brandy and eating them.
• There have been many attempts to deliver mail by rocket, but none have met with much success.
• Umchwasho is a traditional chastity rite in Swaziland that restricts the sexual relations of unmarried women.
• Alcohol advertising is heavily restricted in some countries to avoid associating the drinking of alcoholic beverages with sexual success and physical attractiveness.

OH! That horrid, horrid feeling :(

I keep feeling this deep sense of regret which seems to pull me down further with each step I take...I know what the root cause of it is, however, also knowing very well that there is nothing I could have done about it. But still, that feeling of being denied an entire part of my life eats away at my soul, my very being. It somehow doesn't seem all that fair, to have lost that chunk of my world. Even more so, because I know I fought for it; hard. But lost, very badly. I'm not used to losing. Actually, I don't think I'm a bad loser. Somehow, this loss isn't something I can deal with. Maybe in a few months from now - things will change and I will walk away from this a bigger winner than ever...however, I have a horrid feeling I will always have this nagging feeling, of being denied, being stifled, being controlled - leading to a feeling of hatred I wish I never feel for anyone ever again! I feel horrible!

Manee

She is one of bestest friends...hates it when her picture is being taken, unfortunately for her - I simply LOVE it...this is one of those rare moments of when I've managed to catch her offguard!

One of the kids I teach

Of projects, Kottu and shopping...

So, I finished my FYP [Final Year Project], handed it in. Yes, there is a slight, vague sense of relief, probably owing to the fact that I have a presentation on the project in a couple of weeks time. It's true that I never, ever want to do a research project again, especially NOT using SPSS. URGH! Gives me shudders even when I think about it...however, I excepted to feel more relieved, but disappointingly enough I don't feel the feeling I wanted to feel.

On another note, I just noticed that I - the SweetIdiot is now on the Kottu blogroll...wow! When did that happen? :)

Now, I'm bored. Have a craving to go shopping...you know the kind where you just buy heaps and heaps of stuff and feel immensely satisfied when you go home and dump everything on your bed and heave that wonderfully satisfied sigh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Limbo-ish

Isn't it simply unnerving when you know you have heaps of work to do, choices to make, blah blah blah...but simply do not feel like doing it...it's almost like being caught in between - a kind of unsettlingly limbo-ish feeling.

I often feel like that about most things.

Baby Stuff

I'm a baby...at most things. I'm stubborn. Always want my own way. Will probably never, ever given in...I never stop to think before I act. It's always a case of suddenly realizing the end result...and that too, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay after the consequences have taken place.

I miss being a child. I never had so many decisions to make. At the most, I needed to decide between a car and a barbie doll [always chose the car - or sadistically chose the barbie doll and pulled her stupid little blonde head off!] Things were never this complicating. Sometimes, it's too much, too many, argh! Why me?

I hurt people without realizing it. I say things expecting too much out of people. I'm too much of a princess and expect everybody to fall in line with my life. It's tough, like this. I hate having responsibilities, obligations, things to remember, stuff I just HAVE to do, people depending on me [CWB this don't include you]

If only I could just close my eyes, make that wish and if only it would come true.

Islam = Peace

Islam means 'submission' and derives from a word meaning 'peace'. Somehow, most muslims around the world seem to have forgotten this amongst other basic Islam teachings and the situation has spiralled ridiculously out of control.

I proclaim no great knowledge in Islam - however, through the teachings I've received - I think I can confidently say that I know my right from wrong.

These quotations point out some important aspects of Islam - facts that people nowadays choose to ignore because for most - it is just easier to succumb to what they THINK is right, rather than actually follow what IS right.

'Powerful is not he who knocks the other down, indeed powerful is he who controls himself in a fit of anger.' - Prophet Muhammed (SAW)

The Quran says: God forbids you not, with regards to those who fight you not for [your] faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them; for God loveth those who are just. (Quran, 60.8)

On the other hand, Islam permits fighting in self-defense, in defense of religion, or on the part of those who have been expelled forcibly from their homes. Howver, it does lay down strict rules of combat which include prohibitions against harming civilians and against destroying crops, trees and livestock. In this light, the Quran says:
'Fight in the cause of God against those who fight you, but do not transgress limits. God does not love transgressors.' (2.190)

War therefore, is actually the last resort, and even then is subject to rigorous conditions laid down by Islamic law. Jihad means 'struggle' and takes on two meanings. The other defines the inner struggle that we all go through; against egotistic desires, for the sake of attaining inner peace.

What we see happening today is actually one of the signs of Qiyamah [The Last Day].

Islam, though some see it as a brutal and sometimes incomprehensible religion, is really quite simple. It is a great way of life - IF interpreted correctly. The damage starts only when people take matters into their own hands and make adjustments and begin to follow their own interpretations in the name of Islam.

Anyways, it really is not my place to judge...I'm just here...playing my little part in the world...

JERK! JERK! JERK!

Why do people think we need machines telling us what to do, how to dress and the latest: ta daa! a 'jerk-o-meter'!

I personally WANT to be able to be a jerk when I feel like it, scream on the phone WHEN I want to and do as I please and most importantly speak in any way I FEEL like - without some JERK of a machine telling me - "Don't be a jerk!," "Be a little nicer now," or "Wow, you're a smooth talker" - like YA RIGHT!

WTF?

ARGH! Humans! [rolls eyes]

I would…If I could,
Move to another space,
Another time,
Where every inkling of my life
Would be different.

My once sturdy walls of resistance
Have crumbled away,
Letting the poison
Come seeping in.
Invisible. Powerful. Claustrophobic.

Unwelcome, unfriendly thoughts
Swirl around, venemously,
Mocking at me. Sneeringly.

What do you do?
When coping becomes
Exruciatingly difficult.
When all one can think of
Is a way out. Forever.

How does one go by it?
Abracadabra? A swish of a wand?
Password? PIN number?

Sigh! If only things were that easy…

GASP!

I need air...[gasp]...to breathe...[choke]...I'm being stifled...[splutter]...beyond my control...lost part of me childhood. Losing out on life. Am not given a choice. It's scary. Freaks me out. Think I need to live my life again. Maybe not. I've missed out on so much. I feel like I have. I want it back. NOW!

People screaming, forbidding. They're are still screaming...it's too much to handle...I need out. I've always needed out. I'm complaining again. Whining again. That's what you'll say, and you and yes [sigh]...you too!

The loss...it's created a dark and unearthly void. Pain, suffering, anguish.

I'm not complaining...I'm not whining either...it's only for me to understand.

A Trip up North - Part II

Manalkadu-21st December 2005

Well, the trip just got better and better...I actually met with the LTTE [I was over-awed that I shamelessly was with my mouth wide open], met lots of government and NGO officials and had a super time.

There just isn't that much to write about - because we just went from meeting to meeting, and another meeting...it was endless...awesomely interesting, but tiring.

We stayed at this super guest house in Jaffna...and my room was just SUPER DUPER...the four poster bed, extremely cosy-chic sitting area and split-level bedroom were just the main attractions. [I was all smiles] It was quite different to the open-air bathroom and environment we experienced in Kilinochchi---but I loved it all!

The situation in Jaffna however, is extremely tense...every few metres on the road will ensure a meeting with the SLA...which I think is absurd. The looks on their faces - tells you that they really aren't prepared for this entire situation...most of them look really scared at the thought of even using their weaponry.

Somehow, I feel really sucky about the entire situation...I honestly am not in a position where I can impart my own personal opinion, for the simple reason that I don't have all the facts - but I'm totally confused regarding the entire situation. However, one thing is certain - the innocents are the worst affected - and the orchestrations that are going on are just simply unbelievable.