Embarrassment:
A state of being embarrassed; perplexity; impediment to freedom of action; entanglement; hindrance; confusion or discomposure of mind, as from not knowing what to do or to say; disconcertedness.
I want to DIE! Kill me now...No, no...I insist!
[cringe] [ blush] [cringe a zillion times]
I can't believe I did that! I'm so embarrased...
URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
The makings of a Sucky Early Morning
Its 7:22 in the morning and I'm already having a bad day! Sucky eh?
I'm sure everyone of you know more than one person who fucks up in style every single day of his life! I do!
He illogical exclamations, dumb idiotic stammerings and excuses just piss me off and makes me just want to scream "YOU ARE FIRED!" but then unfortunately reality dawns on me - sneers at me [dammit - I liked that thought of me sitting in that BIG, plush office - ME! Ze BOSS] and I realize I can't fire him...because...I'm sadly not the authority here. DAMN!
I don't know about everybody else...but people like this...people who are incapable at the things they chose to do...are bloody stupid...I - SweetIdiot sentence all 'incapable fools' to death, to hell...Hmmmmmmmm....I could go on... [ha ha ha!]
Oh well! Anyways...there's lots more to the day to look forward to I guess...
A day with the better half and maybe a visit to see the lovable, cute, gorgeous Star Baby!
I'm off now...Tata!
I'm sure everyone of you know more than one person who fucks up in style every single day of his life! I do!
He illogical exclamations, dumb idiotic stammerings and excuses just piss me off and makes me just want to scream "YOU ARE FIRED!" but then unfortunately reality dawns on me - sneers at me [dammit - I liked that thought of me sitting in that BIG, plush office - ME! Ze BOSS] and I realize I can't fire him...because...I'm sadly not the authority here. DAMN!
I don't know about everybody else...but people like this...people who are incapable at the things they chose to do...are bloody stupid...I - SweetIdiot sentence all 'incapable fools' to death, to hell...Hmmmmmmmm....I could go on... [ha ha ha!]
Oh well! Anyways...there's lots more to the day to look forward to I guess...
A day with the better half and maybe a visit to see the lovable, cute, gorgeous Star Baby!
I'm off now...Tata!
Saturday, August 13, 2005
All that is gold does not glitter
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wonder are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows will spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
- JRR Tolkien
Not all those who wonder are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows will spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
- JRR Tolkien
Monday, August 08, 2005
Earth Watchers
Even if you are alone and cannot spot a single person who can see you - you are still not alone.
Surveillance vehicles - spread out across our skies keep a constant track of seemingly innocuous data - but like it or not - "We are being watched".
The so-called 'earth watchers' look something like the picture shown above...
So the next time you are 'snogging' your better half or doing something sneaky or just enjoying a moment with yourself - remember...the earth watchers are watching you!
Is now a good time to scream?
I want to fucking kill them , slap them, cut them into teeny tiny pieces and watch them suffer the most gruesome, painful deaths ever.
It’s those people that don’t know me. Are so bloody fucking narrow-minded. It’s just people who have mindsets where it can only travel in one fucking direction that I can’t stand. Beyond their little dumb little fucking crystal world – no fucking thing exists. It is absurd. I guess at some point during life they will realize. Until then however, [evil laugh]
I’ve been crucified! (in a sense I guess) not something I approve of. If there was ever a part of my life that I’ve wanted to close and walk away – it’s this. Never wanted to close up shop this much.
People without reason, who have no fucking brains to understand the bigger picture, no fucking responsibilities because they still unashamedly choose to grovel after the silver spoon they were born with. JEEZ! So fucking crappy! so fucking pathetic!
I can’t be god – but may be semi-god? I’d banish them, vanquish them, nope! Got a better idea! I’d fucking kill them! HA!
It’s those people that don’t know me. Are so bloody fucking narrow-minded. It’s just people who have mindsets where it can only travel in one fucking direction that I can’t stand. Beyond their little dumb little fucking crystal world – no fucking thing exists. It is absurd. I guess at some point during life they will realize. Until then however, [evil laugh]
I’ve been crucified! (in a sense I guess) not something I approve of. If there was ever a part of my life that I’ve wanted to close and walk away – it’s this. Never wanted to close up shop this much.
People without reason, who have no fucking brains to understand the bigger picture, no fucking responsibilities because they still unashamedly choose to grovel after the silver spoon they were born with. JEEZ! So fucking crappy! so fucking pathetic!
I can’t be god – but may be semi-god? I’d banish them, vanquish them, nope! Got a better idea! I’d fucking kill them! HA!
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Fefu and her Friends
I've been part of the FOH (for those of you theatre-illeterate people that stands for Front Of House) crew for "Fefu and her Friends" directed by the OH-SO talented Tracy Holsinger the past few days. I've set up the chairs, stacked them up again, switched on lights, and ushered a group of the crowd around. I've thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Talking about the play itself - the octa-women (I'm coining my own words again) cast is super-talented. I have drawn some favourites though - Karen's performance is mind-rivetingly raw and plays her part with such painful beauty, it is just amazing. I've never seen Ruwanthi act before and I don't know her personally, but I like her acting very much. It's very personal and watching her doesn't even for a split-micro-mini second remind you that you are watching her actually act - it's very realistic and AARGH! I can't put a finger on it nor can I think of words to describe it. Even Ruhanie - she has such a heap of charisma and such a wonderful stage presence - it just makes you smile to watch her at it especially when storms on stage - in full charge of her surrounding with that ever-so memorable line - "Do you think about genitals all the time?"
The lighting provided by Ryan Holsinger aka The Light and the music were just brilliant not forgetting Akhry's BRILLIANCE at making wonderful things like this happen.
The setting - Barefoot, me thinks is the best possible choice for this play - as it is promenade theatre after all. It's almost as if - Barefoot had been made specially for Fefu and her friends. It draws just the right atmosphere, the ambience, a slight personal and privy touch.
I guess what I've been ranting about all this time just boils down to the fact that the combination is one made in what I call "The Land of RIGHT".
The play most interestingly is set in 1935 - and many, many years later [do the math people] in 2005 - women haven't changed. The play itself is an extremely provocative statement about women to this day.
The play primarily deals with 8 women; their relationships with men, other women and with each other. And even today - the manner in which women are connected to each other and men are completely different. I admit men are less complicating and even though most of us women wouldn't admit it - we are more comfortable in the presence of our male friends as opposed to our girl friends.
Fefu says she likes men better than women, and finds women loathsome.
Fefu and her friends is slightly disturbing as it borders on raw emotions and statements that some of us would not be willing to admit so openly and I guess that is precisely what I like about it so much.
It is impossible to put into words the emotions that this play conjured up but, in an attempt to do exactly that these words just might do the trick: unsettling, honest, raw, disturbing, brilliant!
Talking about the play itself - the octa-women (I'm coining my own words again) cast is super-talented. I have drawn some favourites though - Karen's performance is mind-rivetingly raw and plays her part with such painful beauty, it is just amazing. I've never seen Ruwanthi act before and I don't know her personally, but I like her acting very much. It's very personal and watching her doesn't even for a split-micro-mini second remind you that you are watching her actually act - it's very realistic and AARGH! I can't put a finger on it nor can I think of words to describe it. Even Ruhanie - she has such a heap of charisma and such a wonderful stage presence - it just makes you smile to watch her at it especially when storms on stage - in full charge of her surrounding with that ever-so memorable line - "Do you think about genitals all the time?"
The lighting provided by Ryan Holsinger aka The Light and the music were just brilliant not forgetting Akhry's BRILLIANCE at making wonderful things like this happen.
The setting - Barefoot, me thinks is the best possible choice for this play - as it is promenade theatre after all. It's almost as if - Barefoot had been made specially for Fefu and her friends. It draws just the right atmosphere, the ambience, a slight personal and privy touch.
I guess what I've been ranting about all this time just boils down to the fact that the combination is one made in what I call "The Land of RIGHT".
The play most interestingly is set in 1935 - and many, many years later [do the math people] in 2005 - women haven't changed. The play itself is an extremely provocative statement about women to this day.
The play primarily deals with 8 women; their relationships with men, other women and with each other. And even today - the manner in which women are connected to each other and men are completely different. I admit men are less complicating and even though most of us women wouldn't admit it - we are more comfortable in the presence of our male friends as opposed to our girl friends.
Fefu says she likes men better than women, and finds women loathsome.
Fefu and her friends is slightly disturbing as it borders on raw emotions and statements that some of us would not be willing to admit so openly and I guess that is precisely what I like about it so much.
It is impossible to put into words the emotions that this play conjured up but, in an attempt to do exactly that these words just might do the trick: unsettling, honest, raw, disturbing, brilliant!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Him...mmm...mmm...
Here is a little excerpt from Charlotte Gray by Sebastian Faulks which I happen to be reading these days. I feel that it has captured precisely something that I have been unable to put into words:
I couldn’t make you feel what I feel for him. I can only say that what I’m doing seems quite rational. I suppose at some stage you make decisions, you have to decide what seems important to you, what seems valuable. It may be for a practical reason as much as for an idealistic reason. It’s a judgement. I don’t believe in a general idea, I just believe in one particular man. I believe in the purity of feeling that I have for him and that I believe he has for me. I think its force is superior to that of any other guiding force…and if that love reflects susceptibility on my part, if he has somehow exploited a weakness or a wound in me, so be it. There’s nothing I can do about it; that’s who I am. To behave or believe otherwise would be dishonest.
I couldn’t make you feel what I feel for him. I can only say that what I’m doing seems quite rational. I suppose at some stage you make decisions, you have to decide what seems important to you, what seems valuable. It may be for a practical reason as much as for an idealistic reason. It’s a judgement. I don’t believe in a general idea, I just believe in one particular man. I believe in the purity of feeling that I have for him and that I believe he has for me. I think its force is superior to that of any other guiding force…and if that love reflects susceptibility on my part, if he has somehow exploited a weakness or a wound in me, so be it. There’s nothing I can do about it; that’s who I am. To behave or believe otherwise would be dishonest.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
A tribute to my school days...
The end of my academic studies – at least my degree – looms temptingly a few months ahead…and I’m enticed to just throw in the towel and break FREE!
It’s been three years of studies, sleepless nights, endless fights, friends made, friends lost…looking back…three years ago…Wowee…life has changed so, so much…it is unbelievable.
It’s so weird because it feels like just a short time ago - in school, my friends and I were sitting around and having a good gossip session and the conversation steered to what would be doing in a few years time…and NOW here we are…and this is what we are doing…the saddest part is that all of us are so far apart…if only we could’ve stayed together…
It’s true that the friends you make in school are the only ones who will stay true to you…the rest just come along…but will always fall away…
I badly miss my school days…I loved going to school…I would never even think of staying back at home…the part about school I loved was going to school extra early so that our lot could just hang around the tuck shop and jabber and jabber and jabber till it was time for prayers…and still jabber…
I know I’ll never go back there… to my school days…but those are my favourite days of all time…
I’m here now – my eyes closed – wishing I was with my friends – sitting around and jabbering about – where will I be in the next few years…
It’s been three years of studies, sleepless nights, endless fights, friends made, friends lost…looking back…three years ago…Wowee…life has changed so, so much…it is unbelievable.
It’s so weird because it feels like just a short time ago - in school, my friends and I were sitting around and having a good gossip session and the conversation steered to what would be doing in a few years time…and NOW here we are…and this is what we are doing…the saddest part is that all of us are so far apart…if only we could’ve stayed together…
It’s true that the friends you make in school are the only ones who will stay true to you…the rest just come along…but will always fall away…
I badly miss my school days…I loved going to school…I would never even think of staying back at home…the part about school I loved was going to school extra early so that our lot could just hang around the tuck shop and jabber and jabber and jabber till it was time for prayers…and still jabber…
I know I’ll never go back there… to my school days…but those are my favourite days of all time…
I’m here now – my eyes closed – wishing I was with my friends – sitting around and jabbering about – where will I be in the next few years…
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
LAPTOP!
I'm on the go...
hey, hey, hey...following a mysterious phone call claiming that there was a parcel in my name that simply had to be colllected on the said day before a given time...the clause being that if i failed...i would be relinquished of all rights to it: so made my way to a certain 5-star hotel...it was my uncle...on a surprise vist with ... yes... a drumroll please... ;) Thank you! [clears throat] Ahem...it was a "LAPTOP" just for 'lil ol me...
I am SO thrilled with it... :)
YAY! YAY! YAY! WOOPEE! I've got a laptop...na, na, na, na, na! :D
hey, hey, hey...following a mysterious phone call claiming that there was a parcel in my name that simply had to be colllected on the said day before a given time...the clause being that if i failed...i would be relinquished of all rights to it: so made my way to a certain 5-star hotel...it was my uncle...on a surprise vist with ... yes... a drumroll please... ;) Thank you! [clears throat] Ahem...it was a "LAPTOP" just for 'lil ol me...
I am SO thrilled with it... :)
YAY! YAY! YAY! WOOPEE! I've got a laptop...na, na, na, na, na! :D
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Trials and tribulations of the famous
"Hi! After a long time huh? How you doing?" - that; coming from a guy I've never seen in my life!
"My! so sweet...you read news no...hallo hallo! she's my niece?" - Irately annoyingly overstuffed relation
At a recent prize giving....the photographer claims... "Very good! very good! You're improving! I watching you everday!"
"My! so sweet...you read news no...hallo hallo! she's my niece?" - Irately annoyingly overstuffed relation
At a recent prize giving....the photographer claims... "Very good! very good! You're improving! I watching you everday!"
The most hilarious is the following incident that took place a wedding recently:
BM: Hi! How are you ah?
Moi: Er...[cringe...cringe] Ok... [smile] er...do you er...know me? [flashes bright smile]
BM: Ah! yes men...can't you remember me? I know you men...
Moi: Really? [gives it some though]...ok...but er...how exactly do yo know me?
BM: What men? you're asking questions like that?...Don't you know me..???? HUH?Can't remember the?
Moi: [shrugs...obviously embarrassed] er...no!
BM: I also can't remember...but...you're SO familiar...I KNOW YOU!...I just know it!
- In the background - Bridesmaids screaming -- "You Dodo! You...don't...know...her..."
Moi hears faint traces of 'she's on tv'...
I hastily...flashed a bright smile...and excused myself with some odd muttered excuse...
BM: Hi! How are you ah?
Moi: Er...[cringe...cringe] Ok... [smile] er...do you er...know me? [flashes bright smile]
BM: Ah! yes men...can't you remember me? I know you men...
Moi: Really? [gives it some though]...ok...but er...how exactly do yo know me?
BM: What men? you're asking questions like that?...Don't you know me..???? HUH?Can't remember the?
Moi: [shrugs...obviously embarrassed] er...no!
BM: I also can't remember...but...you're SO familiar...I KNOW YOU!...I just know it!
- In the background - Bridesmaids screaming -- "You Dodo! You...don't...know...her..."
Moi hears faint traces of 'she's on tv'...
I hastily...flashed a bright smile...and excused myself with some odd muttered excuse...
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
It no longer be my type of 'Commons'
Common’s has shifted. They’ve closed shop opposite CitiBank and have moved to the former ice cream shop close to LC – the name of that place seems to elude me much to my annoyance (talk about positioning your product!)
I dropped in the other day – and its not so great…believe me…the whole Common’s experience is lost. They’ve just modified on the ‘ice cream shop’ stuff it a wee bit…but all in all – they’ve lost the personality of Common’s. It’s been converted into a total ‘indoor’ coffee place…NOT GOOD!
It’s a new menu card – the girl behind the counter now has a uniform and so does the guy who serves you all the stuff…oh and … they still don’t have nice, yummy couches…
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Another test!
ME - MATURE PERSON EH? ;)
| You Are 23 Years Old |
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
What Age Do You Act?
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
r@mblings...
URGH! I hate having to be nice to people...It's just a waste of time anyways.
I've got too many things to do...but paradoxically I like having millions of things to do as opposed to being stuck with nothing to do and feeling simply useless.
I need a LONG luxurious vacation!
Monday, April 25, 2005
messing around...
"Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"
- Edgar Allen Poe
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. "
- Jean Anouilh
"Those have most power to hurt us that we love. "
- Francis Beaumont
"Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings a tune without words
And never stops at all."
- Emily Dickinson
But a dream within a dream?"
- Edgar Allen Poe
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. "
- Jean Anouilh
"Those have most power to hurt us that we love. "
- Francis Beaumont
"Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings a tune without words
And never stops at all."
- Emily Dickinson
Monday, March 07, 2005
fOolS
Dreams are made of all things impossible. That’s why they are called dreams. Some people are just gullible enough to build their aspirations on their dreams and then watch them all tumble down. It’s happened every single time.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Naivety...(be there such a word?)
If only i didn't trust so easy...
Things would be much better than this.
Right now -- all shit has hit the ceiling,
And it just sucks!
Monday, January 31, 2005
Confused!
I've been tricked into living...
I'm running around like some definition of insanity...
At the end of the day...all my work is in vain...at least it feels like it!
And...then...I'm back to square one!
I'm telling u - life ain't serious, not the way we think it is...
Life's twisted! DAMMIT! I'm such a fool!
I'm running around like some definition of insanity...
At the end of the day...all my work is in vain...at least it feels like it!
And...then...I'm back to square one!
I'm telling u - life ain't serious, not the way we think it is...
Life's twisted! DAMMIT! I'm such a fool!
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Happy? Sad? Angry? Revengeful?
What is it about human emotion that is so fickle? One moment it's utter bliss and the next it's mountainous layers of rage heaped one on top of the other.
Yesterday, I could have torn a select group of people from limb to limb unmercilessly and watched them writhe in pain while they died a wonderfully satisfying death -- but today, it's a whole new feeling.
I loathe hope!
It brings with it such expectation and dreams built on fluffly white clouds lined generously with linings of several hues of silver, though all existing in an ever-so fragile bubble only to burst shortly afterwards and lo and behold its the emotion of despair and disappointment. It's a horribly depressing feeling.
Oh! If only I could master these emotions!
"One
- D.H. Lawrence
"The
- Al Pacino
"There
- Charles Dickens
Yesterday, I could have torn a select group of people from limb to limb unmercilessly and watched them writhe in pain while they died a wonderfully satisfying death -- but today, it's a whole new feeling.
I loathe hope!
It brings with it such expectation and dreams built on fluffly white clouds lined generously with linings of several hues of silver, though all existing in an ever-so fragile bubble only to burst shortly afterwards and lo and behold its the emotion of despair and disappointment. It's a horribly depressing feeling.
Oh! If only I could master these emotions!
"One
- D.H. Lawrence
"The
- Al Pacino
"There
- Charles Dickens
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